Teaching kids financial responsibility

Every time I shop with my kids. Every. Single. Time. My kids want something. And usually, it’s not just one something but a bunch of somethings. I find myself being really kind with my responses at the beginning of each shopping trip, but by the end I am so tired of finding a way to wiggle myself out of having to buy stupid stuff, that my responses become flat out “no’s” and generally not very nice ones at that. After much fuming about this frustration, I have been in pursuit of a better way, a more sane way, of funding our young children in a responsible way.

My two oldest kids are seven and five. Hardly at the age where they can be put to serious chores and actually do a decent job at it. In fact, even some of the smaller chores they are tasked with are a struggle of coordination and strength. I am of the opinion, however, that in most cases, extras should be earned. That places us in a frustrating situation. How can my kids earn money to buy some of their own things? How can they develop a sense of ownership for the things they do have?

In our house we have been experimenting with new ways of instilling this ownership and work ethic by allowing our kids to take more responsibility for the money we spend on them. Sound scary? It might be a little in the beginning, but as kids experience personally the relationship of work and money by way of natural consequences, they not only learn how to manage money, but also develop ownership over their things and even (we hope) have more gratitude for what they have.

You might be asking yourself, where do I begin? Here is what we have been doing:

1. Start simple.

There are some great lists out there like here and here offering suggestions on age appropriate chores. I would suggest starting with one or two chores and then add on as your kids adjust to a new routine. We have my two kids rotate between unloading the dishwasher and taking out the trash. Claire,my oldest also loads the dishwasher four days a week and Boston clears the table. They also have a morning routine of making beds, brushing teeth, getting dressed, etc. We are gearing up for some additional responsibilities as well. These chores have become part of our flow. They know it is expected of them and it has become habit.

2. Give Incentives/Consequences.

I think that the word “consequence” gets a bad wrap with its negative connotation. In reality, there are consequences to every decision we make. Usually we only highlight them if they are negative. However, responsibilities are a great tool to teach consequences. For example, my kids get a half hour of media time if they complete their morning routine in a timely manner. In reality, I don’t have a problem allowing them that same media time either way, but now they have a motivation for completing their routine and I have a way to teach about consequences. If the routine isn’t completed, I don’t have to nag. I simply let the day go on until that child asks to watch TV or use the computer. Then I remind them of the routine they did not complete. I then move on with my day. Since they know the consequence in advance, it eliminates arguments. As kids get older, instead of giving an allowance, provide chore opportunities for kids to earn the money you would be spending on them already. A great resource on this concept is the book The Entitlement Trap by Richard and Linda Eyre. The Eyres go into detail about establishing a family economy and raising kids who do not feel entitled. I can’t recommend it enough!! 

3. Be Consistent.

No matter where you begin, consistency is your best friend. If you continually begin new routines and then fizzle after a week, your kids will know you aren’t serious. Establish a place in your home where expectations can be written down. In our home, we have a wall painted with chalkboard paint. There we list the chores for the week so that the kids can see it and know that we have expectations of them written in stone! Really, you don’t need a whole wall. The fridge or a white board will do.

4. Don’t Give UP!

If something is not working for your family, don’t be afraid to make changes and evolve. Your efforts will pay off in the end!

We would love to hear what you do in your home! Leave us a comment.